Englitsch for Germans

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eröffnet am: 02.05.05 01:04 von: baanbruch Anzahl Beiträge: 14
neuester Beitrag: 03.05.05 09:55 von: tigerlilly Leser gesamt: 621
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02.05.05 01:04

3516 Postings, 7688 Tage baanbruchEnglitsch for Germans

Nun ja, selber kann ich ja nicht mal
die minimalste Website auf die Beine stellen,
insofern sollte ich vielleicht nicht lästern.

Ich wunderte mich dennoch soeben, warum man auf
einer Info-website mit der Endung ".de" eine
Sprache benutzen muss, die von Deutschen ohne
Englischkenntnisse nicht verstanden wird und von
Brits wohl auch nicht, es sei denn sie können Deutsch.

Kostproben dieser Ergüsse lassen sich finden auf:


02.05.05 07:24

4102 Postings, 6640 Tage hippeland*lol*


Oha; when this is the best, I will nicht knowen, how it aussieht, wenn they don't give their best.




ariva.de Grüße


02.05.05 11:33

5261 Postings, 6687 Tage Dr.MabuseThis discussion goes me

heavy on the senkel. I have some problems with Verunglimpfung of the speech. Please reiß you on the Riemen!  

02.05.05 11:39

4005 Postings, 6457 Tage bikerjohnAch what.....

when you good englisch can, then makes you that nothing out....  

02.05.05 11:43

50712 Postings, 6376 Tage SAKUNö, Doc...

...my Riemen is very verwöhnt. There wird not dran gerissen ;o)  

02.05.05 11:48

61594 Postings, 6410 Tage lassmichreinShout jetzt mal up, SAKU !!

Hmmm - hört sich auch nicht besser an als "Schnauze"... *gg*


02.05.05 11:48

30091 Postings, 5865 Tage ScontovalutaMich, too

I speak English very well,
bröckerlweis´, but not so schnell!  

02.05.05 11:49

5261 Postings, 6687 Tage Dr.MabuseIf you will not reiß you on the

Riemen, you have otherwise to löffel out the soup you have you ingebrought. This cannot be your will in the Ernst?  

02.05.05 11:50



Genug für dich geshouted, lmr?  

02.05.05 11:59

5261 Postings, 6687 Tage Dr.MabuseMr. SAKU, please be a little

aftersightig with our friend letmeinside. He can nix for speaking such a bad language. He must take an example on us betherwise!  

02.05.05 12:07

30091 Postings, 5865 Tage ScontovalutaItalians, too?

The Italian who went to Malta
(Must be read with an Italian accent)

One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tell her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no undetstand, I wanna to piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don`t even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.

To be continued...  

02.05.05 12:14

30091 Postings, 5865 Tage ScontovalutaItalians, too?

The Italian who went to Malta II
(Must be read with an Italian accent)
Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch.

To be continued...  

02.05.05 14:47

30091 Postings, 5865 Tage ScontovalutaItalians, too?

The Italian who went to Malta III
(Must be read with an Italian accent)
So I go back to my room inna hotel and there`s no shits onna my bed. Call the manager and tella him I wanna shit on my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch.

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you!" I say piss on you too, sonna ma bitch, Igonna back to Italy.  

03.05.05 09:55

956 Postings, 6829 Tage tigerlilly...

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; but the plural of ox
became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose
should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; yet the plural of
house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn't the plural of
pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would
a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn't the plural of
booth be called beeth?

Then one may be 'that', and three would be 'those', yet hat in the plural
would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we
never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are 'he, his and him', but imagine the
feminine, 'she, shis and shim'.

Let's face it,  English is a crazy language. There is no egg in
eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.  

English muffins weren't invented in England. We take English for

But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly,
boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea, nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be
committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what other language
do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and
a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
house can burn up as it burns down; in which you fill in a form by
filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.  

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